Could I please have my brain back?

[lostcarpark]

I went to bed with a bit of a sniffle. However, during the night, someone removed my brain and replaced it with a bag of cotton wool, a large bar of soap and a tub of grey putty. They don't perform anything like the way a brain is supposed to. My lungs also seem to be missing and some kind of sneeze machine has taken their place. And whatever normally resides behind one's nose has been displaced by something which generates a constant stream of snot.

If I'd known I'd be this bad I'd have stayed in bed. Which is where I plan to head very shortly. Hope I haven't spread it to the whole office.

Otherwise, I'm in great form.